Burdens

9/18/07

Burdens
I have the tendency to attempt to carry burdens that are too heavy for me. I say that I just attempt to carry them because I can not; I struggle with the heavy load trying to place it on my shoulders, but after two o three steps I just can’t keep going. Time is spent in planning how to deal with the big load and frustration comes after realizing I was not able to. When this happens I usually end in the same position I started but time and effort have been consumed and frustration is the only outcome present.

The need I see in Riobamba is overwhelming… I should say the need of Christ is overwhelming always and everywhere. Every day is bigger, every year this world goes deeper into its destiny. The system we live in is speeding into the chaos of his ruler; the Prince of this world; who knows well his time has been limited. In the middle of this we see souls – precious souls – suffering in pain, covered with darkness and lost…. What causes me more pain is to see that many of these souls are inside the Church.

What is happening that the Church is loosing her relevance before the eyes of the people? I admit the system is powerful; I can see its corruption and deceive being poured into all levels of society; from the family to the governments; but where is the power of the people of God to be the light and salt of this world? I see the Church is becoming the messenger of a message we look to adorn our lives; make them prettier, happier, and easier; instead of being the messenger of a message that changes our lives. I’m afraid the message of Christ and His redeeming sacrifice and power to change us is getting lost under many good sermons, and even more good desires to see the Christians succeed in this world instead of succeeding in the next one; in the eternal one… and while this happens many souls are lost in the Church, looking for emotions and ‘quick fixes’ for their sins that oppress them in a vicious cycle; but they are not willing to deal with the desires that provoke them to sin; or even worst, they are not hearing the message of the real source of freedom… the system has get to pour its corruption and deceive even inside the Church weakening her through her ministers and pastors who fall victims of this system through getting captives in the suffering and testing of financial needs and lack of laborers; or through getting captives in the comfort of the ‘status quo’ of the system; preaching what sounds good and makes feel good. Success or failure of the Church in the eyes and the premises of the system is what brings this prison of pain of comfort to the congregations… both of them are deadly.

I have to say I have seen both. I also have to say I’m now serving in a Church that is being oppressed by need and lack of laborers. I have seen the heart of Pastor Rene and I know how much has been sacrificed by him and his family; I respect him greatly as a servant of God; but I also feel there is a prison covering his congregation and his efforts to teach about the Kingdom of God.

When I see this need I try – consciously and unconsciously – to put that burden on myself in an attempt to change the Church… at least one; and even one is an impossible load for me. The One who changes is Christ and what I need is to make space for Him so He can come and change what needs to be changed… but I confess many times I have try to produce that change myself… you can imagine the outcome.

I guess there are three reasons for my tendency; the first one would be pride; the second one would be a recognized performing orientation I’m fighting with; and the third one would be just mere stupidity (I’m trying to fight with that one too). In any case trying to play the role of the Holy Spirit and taking burdens that are not mine on me represents disobedience; and disobedience is a sin. As any other sin it takes away our peace; our clarity; our joy for the ministry; and demands confession and repentance.

After few days of no peace and feeling “burned”; last Sunday morning during the worship I was finally able to pour out my heart by the grace of God before His throne. In doing so He received my repented heart and lift up my burden reminding me that He is the One who changes; He is the Groom of His Church and - as I allow Him my heart, hands and mouth to be His – He will use them to make space for Himself and bring His presence who is powerful and sufficient to bring change and make everything new. I don’t need to know the ‘how’ He is going to make this change; I just need to trust and labor in hope; I just need to be available and faithful in prayer, reflecting at all times His character to others.

I’m happy to realize how my peace has come back and how now I’m able to see that when I stepped out of His way, He started doing something new in the congregation of Pastor Rene who tells me every day how He is feeling a spirit of encouragement in the people; how real repentance is being renewed among the members of the Church; how old members are coming back; how attendance is increasing and how even the financial situation of the Church is improving… as Pastor Rene is exited I just listen while my heart smiles… I hear the voice of our Savior reminding me “…take my yoke and give me yours…for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”