Context:

8/28/07

Context:
I don’t exactly know when I started writing, or better say, when I started noticing the pleasure of writing and how much better I can express myself and see my heart flowing when I write. I don’t know when this started but I know it developed and explode when I met Jesus Christ in personal basis and I started writing to God (and from God to my heart). Through Him - I noticed - I was writing to the vastest audience of readers; from the dearest and closest ones like my daughter Alexa to the yet unknown ones who are not with me right now in the same place and time, but somehow are not distant; and by the grace given to me are also loved. It’s the same if you read these words years after I wrote them; the love and togetherness are still the same.

The time has come to make this writings more public since circumstances have helped me to realize how much love I have received and how many people are the vessels carrying this love to me. I want to share this love with them; I want to be reciprocal; I want to share this love with you today.

I think I have to mention the circumstances since these are the frame of this beginning; and this beginning is about freedom and about yielding and about surrendering the heart to God who is always in control of everything.

The facts: I just turned 36 years old, not married, and after being an immigrant in USA for the last 5 years I felt this summer I finally was arriving at a place of stability in many senses; especially the one related with finances and security after walking a long way of allowing God to reshape my dreams and purposes in life. Almost 2 weeks ago I got news that changed that perception in me: the application for my permanent residency was denied by US Immigration; and following my best understanding of God’s principles; I honor God and US decision by leaving the country.

In just few days I have faced a shocking change in many senses, I have given most of my material possessions away and turn my feet into a direction I have not been very excited to follow because of fears and personal preferences. Letting go is easy to say but hard to do; and God knows exactly what is that we are holding on. I’m sure the surrendering process is the main goal of all of this… Is God enough to satisfy me? Is really able to do it when part of my heart cries ‘I’m not willing!’ and the other part – the good one – prays ‘I trust you!’? For sure, faith is required and also tested; and taking steps of faith implies walking by paths that are clouded where sight is not really helpful.

In the other side of this situation there is love; an overwhelming love; as God’s states in His word is an “unfailing love” given by many dear brothers and sisters who have walked with me for a while. I’m convinced that this is God’s way to send encouragement and bring comfort during the times we feel alone and afraid of the future. This writing – as I mentioned – is the response to that love; a way to communicate with all of those givers of love; a way to update the situation of my heart and the reality of circumstances around me. Fellowship is a great lesson for me in all of this.

It’s important to mention before finishing this “framing” that before leaving two things present in my heart: the first one is the deep conviction of purpose in this trip and the second one is my desire to come back. The first one requires obedience and the second surrendering; the first demands action and the second faith. Out of the love I have received hope to come back since dear friends and co-workers have expressed their desire to sponsor me in a new process to be presented to immigration; this time it will be pursuing a status based in my real identity; a servant of God… Who knows, this one may be only another mission trip - a very especial one - after which the one who is sent will be able to speak with a new voice; to see with a new vision; to be established in a better port to sail the world.