Be strong and courageous

12/07/07

Be strong and courageous…

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead…” a mandate, a promise, and a call for life were what God gave to Joshua.

Few words that changed the life of Moses’ aide transforming him into a great leader who fought with courage to conquer a vast land submitting many enemies, including his own fear, his own pride, and the deceiving power that makes leaders fall. This man walked all his life with fear of God; and led a nation to a covenant of obedience and service to God. What does it take to be transformed? What does it take to overcome weakness and fear? What does it take to be a leader?

I think we all are called to be leaders in some extend. First we are called to lead over our own lives, over our families; over our time and possessions… eventually we are also called to be a leading community, a holy nation able to lead others to the revelation of Christ and His salvation; but often we are not capable, we struggle, we compromise, and se fall when we face the enemies inside… weakness, fear, and pride.

Somebody told me that leadership is measured by the influence we have over something specific, and I believe this influence is given by God alone but it needs also to be exercised by us first in every area of our lives; and then reflected in others as a testimony of the Lord’s presence in us. Is not ruling over others; it’s leading them with love to obedience to the Savior.

God has given us authority, power and favor through His Holy Spirit but many times these remain untouched in us, unreleased and hidden, they bear no fruit as the talents a servant hid in the ground. Recognizing our hidden talents and the responsibility they imply, I think, is the first step to be transformed. As we take this step we enter to the battlefield were the invisible giants – the ones we have inside – come to fight. They take us down freezing our movements and blocking our decisions as they remind us we don’t have enough to move forward… we know God has given us authority but we are not able to use it… we don’t know how to unleash it, and usually we just retreat choosing not to face the giants… choosing eventually not even see the giants, nor the talents, nor the responsibility we were given. The leader has fallen down, the nominal Christian takes his place… there is no more fight, just existence.

There is just one thing able to resurrect our identity as it resurrected Lazarus from the grave; it’s just one thing able to unleash God’s given power to us: it is God’s voice to our hearts, God’s very word to our lives. As He speaks as He did with Joshua, transformation begins, dead bones come alive and the leader is re-born; not as before in his own strength, but new in the mandate, in the promise, and in the call of the Lord Almighty. This can only happen in the presence of God, in the secret of the Lord.

Did Joshua fear after Moses’ death? Did he pray to overcome his fear and his weakness? How long did he spend praying to God before hearing His voice? I don’t know, I just want to imagine him as a human being oppressed by the common enemies of the heart… maybe he was more or less like me. If he was, there is one thing for sure, in the midst of fear and struggle he looked for God and cried out to Him; in the midst of deception and weakness he went to the secret of the Lord. That is something I also can do… who knows, I may also listen God's voice speaking to my heart; I may also receive from Him hope when my heart is dismaying; faith when doubts overcome; and perseverance when times of difficulty came along… I may also be given power to obey God’s voice, and God’s call to my life.

After all, these things are a real promise in God’s Word… "for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Thanks in Thanksgiving day:

Thanks in Thanksgiving day:


Saying thanks is one of the most simple, humble and beautiful things we can do. Sadly - as generations and technology advance - it seems we are loosing this magnificent gift that brings warmth to all kind of human relationships breaking the “entitlement” we socially adopt due the many “rights” we have been given to own.

I’m honored to be able to say thanks to God and you today. Thanks from my heart; thanks for the glory of God who is the One who uses us to bless each other in unique ways. It has been by His grace and your support that I have been able to spend time in China, India and Ecuador serving people for the sake of Christ; because of His love. I am back in Houston, safe but eternally different.

There are many memories and lessons to share; many stories of real lives whose paths crossed with mine during the trip causing some changes for good in both of us. I usually choose one of those stories to share but this time it’s different since the one I chose does not belong to a Chinese new friend; it belongs to an Ecuadorian old friend: myself.

As many of you may know my life had a radical change six years ago when by the grace of God I met His Son personally for first time and was captivated ever since by His love and His story; the one I though I knew but I really didn’t since I never relate it with mine. Before this change I both enjoyed and suffered success in ‘real’ life bearing its consequences; it was after the change when I also enjoyed and suffered success in ‘spiritual’ life learning a different perspective of life. After years, I have to say that I would not change the second part of my experience for anything since I discovered spiritual live is real life and not the opposite. Anyway, in some early point of the process of these six years I remember myself telling God: “… do anything but don’t make me a missionary!” It has been a long way since then…

I hope you can enjoy these videos as a visual testimony of real people and real places; both beautiful and both created with just one purpose... glorify God. We are not that far, we are not that different... I hope your will see that through the faces and views of the pictures.

Jesus said: “And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself”… (John 12:32) He was lifted up on the cross already and He wants to be lifted up from the earth today… we don’t lift up religion but Christ; and is then when He draws all men to Himself. We just can lifted up Jesus together… thanks for doing it with me in China, India and Ecuador; we where together; He gave us the honor to do it; I went and you allowed me to go… we lifted up Jesus together; at least for some of those millions that just don’t know there is a God who speaks clearly about those words their hearts are missing.

Xie - Xie (thanks) and blessings,

--

Coming back to US:

11/20/07

Coming back to US:

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another…” There are many times when we feel in debt with others; this is one of these times for me.
Almost three months ago I was writing also very early in the morning just before jumping on a flight to face a new season in life; then my thoughts where focused in the uncertain future, the unknown direction I had ahead; now my mind meditates in the sense of being in debt with many people God has used to shape me and mold me during this time.

While the word ‘debt’ does not sounds appealing, the Word of God – as usual – challenges my mind giving a new meaning and a new perspective that unfolds a new sense, a new wisdom in it… it’s a debt of love the only one we are allowed… and this debt is between one another. Can we ever pay back this debt? How do we do that?

Surely this is a real debt since I can feel it clearly in my heart. When I came to Ecuador, I admit that was not my choice; I did it based only in the love I have for God that requires from me one living expression: obedience… I could not imagine at that time how much grateful I would be to God for allowing me to come back to my home land and giving me the opportunity to meet people and experience His power and His love through them. Sometimes those ‘hard curves’ in our lives, when we see God’s will very unpleasant and hard to understand, really are – as somebody said – blessings in disguise.

I am grateful to God… I feel in debt with people. I owe them their simple way to know me and accept me, to understand me, to pray for me, to rejoice and cry with me, to help and provide for me… I owe them their trust and the opportunity they gave me to enter in their hearts and ask God to flow between us… I owe them their grateful hearts for our time together and their words of truth and encouragement when time to leave arrived. I’m sure God is glorified in these debts of love; I’m sure it’s not about just of prayers but about the marks we have carved in our hearts allowing each other to write - guided by God - those living letters that all men can read; letters of recommendation written in tablets not of stone.

I hope to come back next year to spend few weeks again with this loved people and share with them the always amazing work of God… I suppose this is the way Paul use to feel for people he met and loved during his trips; that’s why he used the words ‘continuing debt’… because real love cannot be paid in full since always leaves a desire to love back.
I guess love – already paid in full by Christ at the cross - will also be paid in full by us in Heaven as we join Him in perfect communion with the Father… until then the Spirit tells us something else has been fulfilled; “...for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law”.

Thanks God for loving us first; thanks for leaving to us such a beautiful debt which – by your grace in Christ – set us free from the law.

---

Testimony:

11/11/07

Testimony:

“Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete…” There is joy in serving God… true joy.

Many times we are challenged by suffering – or more accurately – by the possibility of suffering when we ponder the real meaning of serving God. He is sovereign and He uses suffering according to His purposes; it will be then a lie to deny that possibility (since it’s also possible in every season of life), but our meditation should not be about suffering but about joy and satisfaction.

Isaiah 53 quotes that after His suffering Jesus was satisfied… so; is it possible to find joy even in suffering? I believe so; and more accurately – taking away the fear that suffering shadows on my focus - I believe there is always joy in serving God, no matter what that service requires. When we serve God we are in first row to see God answering prayers and when He does it - as the Scripture of introductions declares - our Joy becomes complete. Here is one story:

Luis is a young man about 30 years old, whose deep, deep Indian accent does not play well with his very modern - although also very modest – attire. He got me completely out of base when he came directly to me asking “¿es usted el padrecito?” (Are you the ‘little’ priest?)… it took me couple minutes just to figure out why he was asking me that… Remembering the beginning of the story is having the same weird effect on me as I write… I got out of an event with the youth at the Church in Riobamba; I did my part on it and I think it was a good event but my heart was very heavy; I was asking God in my heart… “Am I doing things right oh Lord?”, I needed to have a time of prayer so I left the event before it was all over. As I drove looking for a place to meet whit God, this old and big Catholic Church shone with full illumination on the top of the only high place of the city called “la loma de Quito” (Quito’s hill). Well I was looking for a place and without much thinking I just drove there. No specific reason was on my mind, especially no reason to go a Catholic Church, something I don’t usually do.

When I entered the Church with my Bible in my hand, planning to spend some time praying; I saw they where cleaning after a wedding and it seemed they will close soon. I had to admit that as soon I got in I did not feel I made a good decision choosing a place to pray so I was turning back when Luis came to me with the strange question… It could be the Bible in my hand I think… well, after couple seconds trying to figure out Luis I was able to listen with attention; he needed somebody to talk with and somebody point me. When I started to listen I had that familiar feeling you have when you see God is doing something and you just need to drop everything else and join Him.

Luis just got the news about his sudden brother’s death; a dear brother for him; and Luis was trying to go back to his hometown to join his parents and his brother family for the burial. After the apparent calm Luis reflected I could see he was devastated inside. He had two problems; his heart was heavier than mine and he needed financial help to travel his hometown… after the flash first discernment about the real motives of this young man, and the firm confirmation in my heart that he was truthful; I just listened and asked questions to see where his heart was with the pain and with God. I asked him to come with me out of the Church to talk and he seemed surprised for the ‘priest’ willing to go out but he followed me. Eventually they closed the Church while we were talking at the street.

I asked Luis if he knew God and he answered me “… of course; I have been faithful to the mass almost every week!”

- “So” - I said - “then; you do know what God says about death?”… He was not able to give me an answer looking puzzled and unable to hide some shame because his ignorance on the matter. Well… I had the Bible right there in my hand so we went together through some Scriptures when Jesus talks about death. He received those much needed words into his heart; fighting against tears when I connected the message of Jesus with his own need of hope and peace. You can imagine what came next; the Lord Jesus gave His testimony through the Spirit and Luis opened his heart to Him, receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior for first conscious time!!

After praying for Luis and his family in that hard situation they were living I was able to take him to the bus station and also provide for his trip…after all of this, while we were driving and talking about other matters, Luis stopped and asked me… “Then… who are you?” and after a pause I replied “Well, I’m a servant of the Lord our God!”… while I spoke these words I felt the sweet voice of God telling speaking to my heart in that language does not need words…”well marcos, what was the question you had in your heart before going to that Church?”

- “Nothing” - I replied - “Nothing Lord, no more questions, just gratitude to you and praise full of joy in my heart…”

I’m sure meeting Luis was not a random thing. Our conversations was planned above to happen just in the right time for both of us… may be even the place was very significant.

One week later I receive a phone call from “El Corazon” (The Heart), a small town deep in the mountains of the Cotopaxi province in Ecuador… the deep Indian accent was now familiar from the other side of the phone… “I was calling you ‘little’ pastor to say thanks, from me and my family. I told them about our conversations… we have received peace… I’m at peace…”

- “Not to me Luis, not to me; to God be our thanks for the great things He has done!”

---

Visa granted:

11/08/07

Visa granted:

“…whoever who does not give up everything cannot be my disciple…” This may be the hardest lesson of all for a follower of Jesus Christ. It’s also a permanent lesson since our Father in heaven – who prunes the branches – make sure there is nothing interfering our devotion, our loyalty, and our faithfulness to Him and the fruit He wants us to bear for His glory. Being pruned and giving up sounds painful and sometimes it really is; but is our own culture–shaped predisposition to hold on things we consider dearly valuable for us, what really makes us suffer more than is needed… that predisposition, rooted in our pride and self centered nature, becomes a god to us since we serve it, we fear it and we love it. It determines what we need, what is good for us, what brings satisfaction or pain to us… it affects our emotions and corrupts our wisdom… it rules our lives.

To be a disciple of Christ we must get rid of all other gods. This is easy to talk but hard to walk, so God help us bringing that ‘situation’ to our lives so we can see and decide who we are really serving and who is the True God. Someone may ask; ‘is it possible I’m serving other gods if I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior?’ well, in 2 Kings 17:41 we read that people worshiped the Lord while they served their idols… yes, it’s possible and - sadly - it would not be the first time… I have been there.

On Nov 8th 2007 I received my passport with a new visa granted to come back to United States as a religious worker for the next 3 years. Thanks for the prayers of many dear friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm sure God allowed His will to happen inside of me in my heart; and outside of me in the circumstance that brought the final decision for my visa. I guess His will in my heart is the one that brings a smile on His face, not for something I did, but for the amazing grace He granted to allow my struggling heart get to the real place of surrendering, and be able to give up the desire to be in a specific country. It was the desire – not the country – what was becoming and idol in my heart; and it was just minutes before the interview at the US consulate when, through the help or the Helper, I was able to really sacrifice this desire on the altar. I gave up on it and killed in my heart as I guess Abraham killed Isaac in his heart, the very last second, when he raised his hand with the knife. No way I got there by myself; His grace carried me.

The on-going lesson I’m learning is that being a "living sacrifice" means to be fully alive and pursue things and dreams; but it means also to make a "pre-decision" to give ALL those things and dreams up for the sake of the only thing worth to have... intimate life with Jesus Christ. We are intimate with Him through the "death" (giving up) of those things we hold and eventually bind us... there is freedom in death, so we can live entirely for Him, so we can identify ourselves with Him.

Thanks God for pruning our hearts. I see it now.

Rosita:

10/26/07

Rosita:
“… if I go I will return to take you with me, so you will be where I am”
Today, Oct 26th 2007 at 10:30 am Rosita passed away in a small room at the Seguro Social Hospital of Riobamba. She was a fine lady of 91 years old, beloved mother of a dear friend. I met her the very day I arrived to Riobamba two months ago; it was in a rush at the emergency room at the same hospital I visited today to pray for her safe trip to heaven over a body that few minutes later would be just an empty vessel of the precious and eternal soul God has given us. I prayed today the very same words of Jesus that I prayed when I met her… “… if I go I will return to take you with me, so you will be where I am”

The day we met hear death was diagnosed as certain since she had just 5% of her lungs working. Medicine gave up on her. She was amazingly lucid and conscious of everything. We prayed together. God graciously granted her eternal life through her faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior… Who would know that God also granted her 2 more months of life at home, surrounded of her sons and daughters and their children; with no pain and complete consciousness! God is good.

I had the opportunity to visit her almost every week and witness her amazing spirit and the miracle of few more days on this earth given out of grace, not science. I visited her yesterday and she was beautiful with a new red hair and at peace feeling herself ‘amost at home’… with a big smile she asked me “what do you have for me today?” referring to what passage of the Bible we will read… I was not sure… I read a couple feeling clearly in my heart those were not the passages for today. My mind came back to the same one we shared when we met. I read it again while she listened carefully. I asked her if she had any burden on her heart that we can give to Jesus and she answered that her only burden was her children… “that they would not worry for me… God will take me soon” - she said -. I asked her if she knew who she was waiting for; with another big smile she answered “yes, I know”. Together we prayed for peace in the time to come.

Today I am sited among those she did not want to be worried for her. We are in a cold room where her empty vessel is present waiting for the earth. She left in peace. I almost can see her by the hand of Jesus with her big smile and her shining eyes… I thank the Lord for allow my path cross with hers. We will see each other again.

I have been asked to pray tomorrow at her burial. In the middle of the suffering of her relatives I hope to be able to pray thanking God for the peace Rosita had and I witnessed. May the Name of our Prince of Peace be lifted up so He will draw others to Himself… as He did with Rosita.

Lord, teach us to count our days so we will bring wisdom to our souls.

Change for Life!

10/24/07

Change for life:
Finally, it happened.

We faced rain and one of the coldest nights of the season on Friday night that almost frozen our expectations but about 400 people showed up at 8 PM and later – at 9 PM when the rain ceased – we had also an audience of drinking buddies listening to the concert from their cars parked all over the street.

91 cards were collected splitting them almost in halves between decisions for Christ (first timers and reconciliations); and inquiries about more information and prayer requests. My heart is thankful, my soul praises the Lord! Thanks for your prayers.

I got out of the night with a realization and a revelation (sort of a new teaching and understanding of the Word of God).

The realization is that the youth around the world are like a “different tribe”; yes, they talk a different language; look different; see things from a different perspective and somehow ‘think’ different… I may be exaggerating but my realization certainly was that this ‘other tribe’ needs desperately missionaries to be sent to reach them. As usual preparation, those missionaries need to learn the language and the culture in order to be relevant to them; in order to reach them with a message that is powerful and remains the same, but need to be presented in another language.

The revelation was rooted on the words of Christ “if you remain in me and I in you; you will bear abundant fruit”. This passage acquired new meaning for me that night. Fruit only comes when we remain in Him, in His character, in His love, in His peace… no matter how well things can be organized or planned, if we plug out of Him, fruit is gone!

The lesson of this revelation says that chances are (almost in 100%) that during the process of developing crusades or events looking to bear eternal fruit for God’s glory; we will face situations that will challenge us to completely, tempting us and almost forcing us to plug out of Him. From rain to the last minute sound problems… Fact is that if we overcome and “remain in Him”, shining His character, abiding in the rule of love and the promise of peace; fruit will come, abundantly.

I consider this impossible to mere human beings; so the presence in us of the Holy Spirit and the power of prayer are essential. Diligence in preparation will also help since it will decrease the possibilities of these last minute unfortunate events that challenge our hearts to abide and reflect the Lord of love. It’s been a big lesson for me that came alive and powerful even after read that passage several times… I guess is like reading about golf and actually playing golf. I pray the Holy Spirit of our Lord will write this lesson in the deep of my heart… as Oswald Chambers implies relating the public ministry of a man of God with his private and intimate time with God “the worth of our public depends of the quality of our private”.

Last note of praise; there is something about coming to preach the Gospel at the street of your own town… God thanks for changing me and making of this life that you gave to me - the one which dishonored you in the past - an instrument today to bring glory to your Name through your Son Jesus Christ. Thanks.

Praise & Prayer

Praise and Prayer:

“With God we will gain the victory, and He will trample down our enemies.”
With God we will be able to do amazing things indeed. He will do them through us by the power of His Spirit, in the Name of His Son, for the Glory of the Father.

It has been a long time (couple weeks) without any entry in the blog; but surely the Lord has been on the move; He has been keeping us busy, and personally He has been giving me opportunities to ‘fan into flame’ the gift of God which is in me. At this moment while I’m writing these words my soul rejoices in what is going on since I just heard some of the testimonies of God changing the lives of some people who are coming to a Bible Study group we have every Sunday afternoon in the house where I’m staying… alcohol addictions broken, reconciliation with parents, physical healings, hope in the middle of the storm, freedom of inner vows and old sins, new perspective of life, new understanding of the Word of God, healing in marriages… yes, God has been good with us, all of this has been His work! Is one of those moments where my heart is fully satisfied; there is nothing missing Lord tonight for my praise and gratitude to be complete… I hope this joy and adoration will come to your presence as incense; as a burning offering that is pleasing in your sight; that brings you glory as the rain that is now coming down to bless this land, to feed beasts and people, brings you glory also. Glory coming down and glory going up… all the earth is filled with your glory.

These are some of the testimonies I want to praise for:

· We finished a workshop of evangelism with more than 40 people participating during couple sessions… after the main session more than half of the present gave or recommitted their lives to Christ!
· I’m participating in three Bible Study groups every week; one was assigned by the Church and the other two are completely new. I have seen people giving their hearts to Jesus for first time in all of them; especially in one of them where last week 6 couples committed their lives to the Savior.
· We had a youth retreat last week with about 25 young boys and girls between 12 and 20 years old participating; most of them Christians. Healing of the heart and amazing testimonies of reconciliation and recommitment where the outcome. After the retreat the whole Church came together asking for forgiveness to God for the sins committed for parents and their children. You have to see now the faces of these young believers and hear their testimonies! I get to see them every week at the youth gathering and at their Sunday school and I can tell that freedom and peace are reflected in our faces as are reigning in our hearts.
· I have had the opportunity to teach and share with the youth leaders and the Sunday school teachers of the Church and we all can feel how the Lord is bringing renewal into His ministry. We are encouraged to see new visitors, more attendance and participation in all projects.

There are still many things going on; please pray for:

· The “Change for life” concert coming this next Oct 19th. It’s an evangelistic concert; a free event to take place a Friday night on the most congested street of the city, where young people gather by hundreds on the weekend to chat and drink. It’s important to note that this city has been declared couple months ago as the national capital of the alcohol. The ‘Change for life’ concert will include rock, theater, videos and a ‘challenge to the heart’, meaning the message of the Gospel. Please pray for the hundreds – we hope couple thousands – of young souls that may receive this message for first time in their lives that night. May God raise many people for Him that night; may God speak through His Spirit clearly and firmly revealing His Son; may the tents of counselors be guided by the Spirit to led many to Christ; may the music and the event bring glory to God… may God be present with us.
· There is a youth gathering for Christians of different Churches on Oct 20th… the challenge will be to become salt and light in the city.
· There is a conference for Entrepreneurs and businessmen believers on Thurs Oct 18th with the participation of Jorge Martinez from Houston who is visiting us. What a blessing! Pray for God using him to reach and encourage this group of people.

“En Dios haremos proezas” (In God we will do amazing things) Thanks for your support and prayers.

Burdens

9/18/07

Burdens
I have the tendency to attempt to carry burdens that are too heavy for me. I say that I just attempt to carry them because I can not; I struggle with the heavy load trying to place it on my shoulders, but after two o three steps I just can’t keep going. Time is spent in planning how to deal with the big load and frustration comes after realizing I was not able to. When this happens I usually end in the same position I started but time and effort have been consumed and frustration is the only outcome present.

The need I see in Riobamba is overwhelming… I should say the need of Christ is overwhelming always and everywhere. Every day is bigger, every year this world goes deeper into its destiny. The system we live in is speeding into the chaos of his ruler; the Prince of this world; who knows well his time has been limited. In the middle of this we see souls – precious souls – suffering in pain, covered with darkness and lost…. What causes me more pain is to see that many of these souls are inside the Church.

What is happening that the Church is loosing her relevance before the eyes of the people? I admit the system is powerful; I can see its corruption and deceive being poured into all levels of society; from the family to the governments; but where is the power of the people of God to be the light and salt of this world? I see the Church is becoming the messenger of a message we look to adorn our lives; make them prettier, happier, and easier; instead of being the messenger of a message that changes our lives. I’m afraid the message of Christ and His redeeming sacrifice and power to change us is getting lost under many good sermons, and even more good desires to see the Christians succeed in this world instead of succeeding in the next one; in the eternal one… and while this happens many souls are lost in the Church, looking for emotions and ‘quick fixes’ for their sins that oppress them in a vicious cycle; but they are not willing to deal with the desires that provoke them to sin; or even worst, they are not hearing the message of the real source of freedom… the system has get to pour its corruption and deceive even inside the Church weakening her through her ministers and pastors who fall victims of this system through getting captives in the suffering and testing of financial needs and lack of laborers; or through getting captives in the comfort of the ‘status quo’ of the system; preaching what sounds good and makes feel good. Success or failure of the Church in the eyes and the premises of the system is what brings this prison of pain of comfort to the congregations… both of them are deadly.

I have to say I have seen both. I also have to say I’m now serving in a Church that is being oppressed by need and lack of laborers. I have seen the heart of Pastor Rene and I know how much has been sacrificed by him and his family; I respect him greatly as a servant of God; but I also feel there is a prison covering his congregation and his efforts to teach about the Kingdom of God.

When I see this need I try – consciously and unconsciously – to put that burden on myself in an attempt to change the Church… at least one; and even one is an impossible load for me. The One who changes is Christ and what I need is to make space for Him so He can come and change what needs to be changed… but I confess many times I have try to produce that change myself… you can imagine the outcome.

I guess there are three reasons for my tendency; the first one would be pride; the second one would be a recognized performing orientation I’m fighting with; and the third one would be just mere stupidity (I’m trying to fight with that one too). In any case trying to play the role of the Holy Spirit and taking burdens that are not mine on me represents disobedience; and disobedience is a sin. As any other sin it takes away our peace; our clarity; our joy for the ministry; and demands confession and repentance.

After few days of no peace and feeling “burned”; last Sunday morning during the worship I was finally able to pour out my heart by the grace of God before His throne. In doing so He received my repented heart and lift up my burden reminding me that He is the One who changes; He is the Groom of His Church and - as I allow Him my heart, hands and mouth to be His – He will use them to make space for Himself and bring His presence who is powerful and sufficient to bring change and make everything new. I don’t need to know the ‘how’ He is going to make this change; I just need to trust and labor in hope; I just need to be available and faithful in prayer, reflecting at all times His character to others.

I’m happy to realize how my peace has come back and how now I’m able to see that when I stepped out of His way, He started doing something new in the congregation of Pastor Rene who tells me every day how He is feeling a spirit of encouragement in the people; how real repentance is being renewed among the members of the Church; how old members are coming back; how attendance is increasing and how even the financial situation of the Church is improving… as Pastor Rene is exited I just listen while my heart smiles… I hear the voice of our Savior reminding me “…take my yoke and give me yours…for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

"...and he rode into the nigth"

9/16/07

“…and he rode into the night”
“… and he rode into the night…” A dear friend of mine wrote this expression to me in an e-mail not long ago. After enjoying the creativity and the context he used with it; he really made me meditate about that ‘romantic’ line that usually ends an adventure leaving in the air the promise of another one. It’s almost a peaceful ‘to be continued…’ that we receive without the disappointment of a story that is broken just in the most interesting part. The expression it’s an end connected with a new beginning, which receives its romanticism as much as from the taste and testimony of the adventure that is just ending; as from the unknown destiny that lays ahead, full of hope and expectations.

Well, this somehow explains a little bit what I have been feeling these last weeks as I “rode” into the “night” of the uncertain, still tasting the testimony of ended trips; still encouraged by the new and old friends I share with in those adventures; still strengthen by the One who is the beginning and the end, the One who rides with me all the time. I came into the uncertain destiny of Ecuador enriched with the experiences of my trips to India and China.

I have to admit this is not really romantic for me, but there is a perspective I recognize and receive. It’s a process; a progress in the mission that God is calling His people to live. As the man who rode into the night is more confident each time he finishes an adventure because of the vivid experience and lessons he learned; he is also less afraid to engage in a new story even if he knows very little about what is ahead. This man matures and is able to adapt better each time he is in this gap where leaving and receiving is required. The key word here is trust; since this man is able to trust in the future because he trusted in the past.

In the same way I feel God is ‘expanding’ my ability to trust. The first time I went o a trip to India there were a team and a plan; a team of people I knew well who had the same plan I did; a plan that was establish and clear. The next time I went on a trip to China there was no team but a plan. I went alone to meet people in the field who provided a plan for me while I was there. Both experiences were great but very different; the second one required to trust more than the first one. Now I came on a trip where there is no team and no plan… just God. I’m grateful He allowed me the grace to obey, the lesson He is teaching me is invisible, deep, and powerful. I’m riding on His grace and purpose; He is the past, the present and the future; He is the Morning Star after the night; He is the ‘to be continued’; He is the beginning and the end. As His Word states; “everything is for good for those who are in Christ Jesus…”

Invitation to preach:

09/11/07

Invitation to preach:
There are many ways to speak before an audience; there are many purposes we can have and many styles we can use to stand before a group or people with the challenge of communicate something. In every occasion we may face a mixture of fear, anticipation, excitement and even passion; or we can also fall into the deceiving trap of pride; self concern; excessive criticism; doubt or over confidence. Let’s say that speaking in public can bring pain or satisfaction; can become an amazing opportunity to influence and build up others and ourselves, or an opportunity to build both of us down. Speaking in public can become a great blessing or a great tragedy for us and for the people who is listening.

As creatures created to have communion with God and between each other we long to communicate in many ways; many levels; many circumstances; but preaching is unique.

In my life I have had the opportunity to speak in business matters; to facilitate trainings and couple toasts in weddings; to give reports in different circumstances; to help as emcee in different meetings and lastly I have been able to teach the Bible in Sunday school… but preaching is definitely unique!

I was invited to preach last Sunday in “Comunidad Cristiana de Riobamba” Pastor Rene asked me to share in the main service and he even gave me a hint about the message telling me September is the month of Hope in the congregation. I accepted the invitation trusting the Holy Spirit to guide me and teach me, but from the beginning I knew this time would be different since I was not really given a context to share about; there were not a passage or something specific to start with… just the Lord and me asking Him for the message He wanted to share.

Freedom does not mean doing what we want (this is a good principle); freedom means being completely able to do what God wants us to do. I was free to preach about any subject but it did not mean I had to preach about something I knew well about or something I liked or even though it was relevant for the occasion… it did mean I was able to preach what the Lord wanted to preach. Sounds easy but I ended being a little more complicated for me.

I was praying in the afternoon on Saturday and by 7 PM I was exhausted, some ideas about hope where written down but somehow I knew it was not right; that was not the message and I was frustrated and tired. I was also feeling a little bit guilty of not being able to have the message ready. I left to visit some relatives planning to come back early to finish the sermon but I came back later than I though and after some time I found myself still frustrated unable to produce a sermon. I prayed begging the Lord to forgive me for trying to do it by myself and for my anxiety; and I went to bed with nothing ready. My night was not the best since my subconscious was still fighting and calling out my irresponsibility.

Around 5:30 AM the Lord showed up and waked me up to work… after praying I just could be amazed to see how God started to develop a message that was blessing me as I was writing it down. Around 8:30 AM it was done and at 9:30 AM was delivered at the main service of the Church. God is faithful. Preaching is really stepping up to say what the Lord wants to say, not us. I see how the Lord backs up His Word before men… it’s His Word, not ours what is powerful to change the heart; and His Word comes in His time.

During the preaching I experienced the blessing of being a vessel; a real one. I know we are always in God’s hands and He uses us in ways we can’t always realize; but the feeling of being filled with a message of God that is inside us before preaching and the sense and certainty of knowing we did not produced that message is amazing. A vessel that has been filled inside and is just waiting for the right time to spread out its content directly into the hearts of people… that humbles me and make me realize how great is the honor God gives his servants to speak His word… “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdom, to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant”.

Comunidad Cristiana (Christian Community in Riobamba):

09/08/07

“Comunidad Cristiana” (Christian Community in Riobamba):
I arrived last Wednesday to Riobamba and the same night I was invited by Rene Fiallos, pastor of “Comunidad Cristiana” of Riobamba, to share in his mid-week service about my mission trip to India. I have known Rene for some years since the Lord has used us to share some blessings between Houston and Ecuador. Many people seemed to recognize me and I was very surprised when I was introduced not just as a missionary but as one of the missionaries the congregation has been praying for since my first trip to India. The group of youth has even made a short video with some pictures I sent Pastor Rene years ago; I was about to give a report of the mission to India before a congregation that had been supporting me in prayer!

After the report the congregation welcomed me as part of them; as a missionary who will be serving with them for the next few weeks… it was like being welcomed in a new job. God has a way to show us His faithfulness; in changes when we are still worried about our purpose and our time; about the place to serve and about what to do… He shows up and we realize that everything has been taken care of; God took care of everything before you can even ask for it. My heart is grateful.

A later conversation with Pastor Rene helped us to coordinate my schedule for the next weeks. I was invited to preach in specific dates; to help in one new “celula” or small group with several families; to help developing the plan for an evangelistic concert focused for young people the last week of October; and to support the pastor with some visits and counseling… not bad! I was put in charge of creating a plan to train and teach the youth of the Church, ministering to them and preparing them for the evangelistic concert. This plan will include a small retreat and classes on Saturdays, Sundays and couple Mondays training members of the Church to share the Gospel.

Pastor Rene also introduced me an American Missionary named Christopher who has a vision to serve the pastors in the city… the vision is very similar to the vision of Mission Houston; so I’ll also give one day per week to help Christopher in his purpose. Finally, I can see the need of learning more about Christ in my father and various friends and people I’m related to… I’m just praying God will allow another small group to start under the covering of Pastor Rene. God will help me to be a good steward of the time He has established for me to be here… I can’t complain about being bored but I need to be careful and wise about what I commit to. There are many good things to do and the need of Christ is great but I know God wants me to focus my strength in one or two things He is doing and He wants me to join in. I have seen – and experienced – occasions when ministry and ‘doing things for God’ become idols; we serve them and, even having the right motivation, we loose perspective, we fail forgetting the bigger picture… as a good friend of mine says; ‘we love the work of the Lord instead of loving the Lord of the work’… Jesus is the right and everlasting model; He did just what the Father showed Him. I hope to keep the right heart; the one that loves the Lord and listens for His guidance in every step of the road.

Another great testimony is about His provision for transportation and communications. During the first week in Riobamba, a good friend of mine gave me his second car (a Volkswagen Beatle 1975) allowing me to use it during my time of permanence in Riobamba; (it’s a missionary on a classic!). In the same way a cell phone has been provided to me to be used during these weeks. God is great; He is faithful in all our needs; He is wise and a trustful confidence in all our desires!

There is a spiritual principle I’m learning; it’s like fresh water being poured in inside of my heart; it’s soft and refreshing. It’s like the known whisper of God making real something I have read, prayed and believed… but now is becoming experience; the Word being made flesh; the Word saying: 'Trust me Marcos, trust me. Let me lead… when you let me lead I fulfill my purpose, I provide for your needs, and I satisfy your soul'.

Recognizing Quito:

09/04/07

Recognizing Quito:
I have spent the last 3 days in Quito, the capital city of Ecuador where I studied the last 3 years of my high school. Many memories are still living in these busy streets almost completely covered of small businesses and tiny stores of anything able to make you take one dollar or less out of your pocket into the tight economy of a family who has sacrificed their living room to create provide another source of income to the household.

Five years have passed after big changes in the economy of Ecuador when our native currency passed away to adopt the US dollar as own. It seems the country is doing better; the streets are full of new cars of tiny models that make me think in Europe; it seems the city has grown and I can see many new constructions and especially new giant shopping centers built as temples to consumerism; but I still wonder about the hearts of the people whose faces seems to yell at me “I don’t care, I’m trying to survive myself…” It’s sad; it seems people really don’t care about each other and about anything other than surviving financially… those may be the scars of five years of striving and fighting to endure this hard and never-ending social, political and financial crisis.

I’m asking God to reveal me about the spiritual realities of my country and I have been reading and meditating about our history as country. So far two words are in my mind about my land: oppression and rebellion… my country is a rebel country that has been oppressed for many centuries; oppressed by the Incas that came from the south; oppressed by the Spaniards that came from Europe; oppressed by the first governments from foreign military after the independence; and oppressed since then by our own authorities who – by their majority over the years - have also been saying “I don’t care, I’m thinking only about myself”
Oppression brings rebellion; and rebellion produces bitterness compromising justice, righteousness, and truth. Hearts are deceived and hardened.

My people is reaping what have been sawed over generations; is judging just to be judged in the same way; is looking for an identity almost forgotten under the oppression; is choosing what is convenient instead of what is righteous; is laboring to receive no profit; my people is rebelling; is coursing our governments and our destinies; is blinding our eyes to make ourselves incapable to discern what is right and wrong suppressing moral values; incapable of choosing good authorities. Even our independence of Spain came out of rebellion inspired in the French Revolution; social, politic and spiritual rebellion… We are living our independence with our eyes blinded.

Freedom is required; the freedom based in righteousness and reconciliation with the Supreme Authority; the freedom of Christ.

As I keep walking in the land I keep praying for more revelation and discernment to pray for my country. After all I hold hope deep in my heart because I see also the Kingdom of God growing in my native Ecuador… there are more Christian Churches than I imagined and I hear about powerful testimonies about the grace and love of our Sovereign God… I’m looking forward to serve the Body of Christ in this country for the time God has established for me to be here; I pray for revelation to the Ecuadorian Church, for unity and God’s presence in her. My heart is still in the nations and Ecuador is one of them… May Houston pray for Ecuador and Ecuador for Houston!

Tomorrow I leave to Riobamba taking another step deeper into God’s purpose for my trip. I’m excited, leaving consciously my heart and my destiny into God’s hands… “Teach me your way oh Lord and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart so I’ll fear your Name”

Jumping out of Miami:

09/01/07

Jumping out of Miami:
“Be still and acknowledge I am God” says the Lord.

The time has come to leave US from Miami and I’m glad I came this way.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak about missions with a ‘house Church’ in south Miami; what a great group! As I was presented as the missionary I was able to meditate again in my identity and I could do no other thing than be glad and grateful, not because I had anything to boast of, but because of the grace of God giving me the many opportunities to engage in His Mission. I told them about India and China… I felt their hearts open and receiving the message… I answered questions and we prayed together asking God to lit the light His Mission among them. I was richly blessed and commissioned by these brothers and sisters from different cultures and backgrounds; Anglo, Hispanic, European, Caribbean… who had among them the love and reconciliation of God; reconciliation not only with the Creator but also between cultures and ethnic groups. For God be the glory!

In the personal realm, I have been having few dreams that have been more disturbing than anything; I guess they just reflect the fears within the heart; and they may also be a warning… a sign saying “curve ahead, be careful”. The time to stand up in faith may include some trials and testing; God is my helper. I have also to admit that I’m eager to connect with what is next; to finish this shifting and engage the next step. Being ‘in between’ may be the hardest thing now for me.

I’m praying to keep the expectations of my presence in Ecuador in the hands of God alone; for me and for my family and friends in there. I’m asking God to show me clearly what are the 2 or 3 things He wants me to be focus in while I’m the country. I’m waiting and waiting to be shown of this… “The son does only what the Father shows Him… and the Father shows Him everything because He loves the son”

Context:

8/28/07

Context:
I don’t exactly know when I started writing, or better say, when I started noticing the pleasure of writing and how much better I can express myself and see my heart flowing when I write. I don’t know when this started but I know it developed and explode when I met Jesus Christ in personal basis and I started writing to God (and from God to my heart). Through Him - I noticed - I was writing to the vastest audience of readers; from the dearest and closest ones like my daughter Alexa to the yet unknown ones who are not with me right now in the same place and time, but somehow are not distant; and by the grace given to me are also loved. It’s the same if you read these words years after I wrote them; the love and togetherness are still the same.

The time has come to make this writings more public since circumstances have helped me to realize how much love I have received and how many people are the vessels carrying this love to me. I want to share this love with them; I want to be reciprocal; I want to share this love with you today.

I think I have to mention the circumstances since these are the frame of this beginning; and this beginning is about freedom and about yielding and about surrendering the heart to God who is always in control of everything.

The facts: I just turned 36 years old, not married, and after being an immigrant in USA for the last 5 years I felt this summer I finally was arriving at a place of stability in many senses; especially the one related with finances and security after walking a long way of allowing God to reshape my dreams and purposes in life. Almost 2 weeks ago I got news that changed that perception in me: the application for my permanent residency was denied by US Immigration; and following my best understanding of God’s principles; I honor God and US decision by leaving the country.

In just few days I have faced a shocking change in many senses, I have given most of my material possessions away and turn my feet into a direction I have not been very excited to follow because of fears and personal preferences. Letting go is easy to say but hard to do; and God knows exactly what is that we are holding on. I’m sure the surrendering process is the main goal of all of this… Is God enough to satisfy me? Is really able to do it when part of my heart cries ‘I’m not willing!’ and the other part – the good one – prays ‘I trust you!’? For sure, faith is required and also tested; and taking steps of faith implies walking by paths that are clouded where sight is not really helpful.

In the other side of this situation there is love; an overwhelming love; as God’s states in His word is an “unfailing love” given by many dear brothers and sisters who have walked with me for a while. I’m convinced that this is God’s way to send encouragement and bring comfort during the times we feel alone and afraid of the future. This writing – as I mentioned – is the response to that love; a way to communicate with all of those givers of love; a way to update the situation of my heart and the reality of circumstances around me. Fellowship is a great lesson for me in all of this.

It’s important to mention before finishing this “framing” that before leaving two things present in my heart: the first one is the deep conviction of purpose in this trip and the second one is my desire to come back. The first one requires obedience and the second surrendering; the first demands action and the second faith. Out of the love I have received hope to come back since dear friends and co-workers have expressed their desire to sponsor me in a new process to be presented to immigration; this time it will be pursuing a status based in my real identity; a servant of God… Who knows, this one may be only another mission trip - a very especial one - after which the one who is sent will be able to speak with a new voice; to see with a new vision; to be established in a better port to sail the world.